


downer

by playboinotcarti



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Modern AU, Trafalgar D. Water Law-centric, law needs a fucking hug bro, projecting onto characters?? whaaat no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:41:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29820249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/playboinotcarti/pseuds/playboinotcarti
Summary: the pain in his head got sharper, until it became an excruciating agony. his arm was soaked, cheeks tear stained and his eyes stung. still, he laid, bathing in self pity and dejection.
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy/Trafalgar D. Water Law
Kudos: 22





	downer

**Author's Note:**

> downer- city morgue.

it was around eleven in the morning when law first awoke. the sun managed to soak through his curtains, rendering them useless. the brightness burned his eyes, he wasn't ready to get up, not just yet. so he simply rolled over until he was facing the other way, pulling the blanket up to cover his head. surrounded by darkness, he was quick to fall asleep. 

at one in the afternoon, he woke up, again. this time, however, he was able to resist the urge to shut his eyes once more. he was met with a throbbing headache that was in the midst of development beneath his temples. it wasn't an unusual occurrence for him and so he was able to disregard it for the moment. 

the blanket was kicked off, it being too warm. he imagined that as he was only in a pair of boxers, it wouldn't be long before he cooled down. but it didn't make much of a difference as he suddenly realised the heavy heat in his room. it was fucking suffocating. 

needing to get away from it all, he clambered out of bed. the flooring outside of his room was cold against his feet as he headed towards the bathroom. there always was a slight chill in the bathroom and in the moment, it was greatly appreciated. 

whilst brushing his teeth, he found himself purposefully avoiding catching a glimpse of his reflection. he felt awful and was certain that it would show, and he didn't particularly want to see that. despite the many hours of sleep he'd managed to accumulate the previous night, exhaustion still hung onto him, weighing his body down.

once he'd finished, he made his way to the kitchen where he cracked open one of the windows, allowing a breeze to wash over his skin and send a shiver rolling down his spine. 

after a few minutes, the fog in his brain cleared and he figured that he might as well start his day, preferably with something to eat. a bowl of cereal was deemed good enough. 

after he’d made it, he leaned against the counter and indulged in his breakfast, or was it considered lunch? 

it was a shitty cereal, full of sugar, and it went soggy way too quickly, making the milk all chocolate-y. maybe it was because he hadn't eaten a full proper meal since… god knows when, but he just couldn't stop eating it. he was on his second serving in an instant. 

he wasn't one for sweet things, but it was probably his favourite cereal, or at least the only which he continually bought. his younger sister, sugar, adored it. she’d have it every morning religiously. he wondered if she still did so. it was something which reminded him of home, as much as he disliked dwelling on his past. those were bittersweet memories. 

while still chewing, he began to clear away. his stomach still felt empty, tightening with hunger. but he ignored it with ease. 

his short lived motivation had died. the headache had only grown worse, it felt louder. each movement he made seemed to just accentuate the pain. it led to the contemplation of heading straight back to bed. he didn't want to do _anything_ , he just felt so mundane. 

as he took a step towards his bedroom, he was made aware of his extreme lack of energy. he felt as if he was seconds away from collapsing, as though if a strong gust of wind were to come through the window, he'd likely be unable to withstand it, falling upon impact. it made him feel utterly pathetic. 

he made it back to his bedroom intact, still in one piece. a groan slipped past his lips as he relaxed into the mattress. his head pulsed once, twice, and a third time. it continued to ache but had calmed down to an extent upon his return to bed. 

an arm stretched out, searching his bedside table for his phone. when he found it, he brought the screen to his face, allowing it to unlock before scrolling through his notifications. 

the air got caught in his throat as he spotted texts from his boyfriend. he swallowed roughly whilst reading them, ridding himself of the lingering taste of guilt which sat on his tongue. 

**luffy**

what are you doing today?

**luffy**

sanji’s invited everyone over for food

at his place

**luffy**

you up for it?

law couldn't not respond, it would only lead to him feeling worse than he already did. 

**law**

no, sorry. 

he could already see luffy's frown, the disappointment so blatant on his face. law disliked when his boyfriend was upset, it made his heart clench in a peculiar manner. and so knowing that he would be the cause of it made his heart drop and his chest tense. 

in all honesty, luffy deserved much better than law. he deserved someone who'd encourage that smile which law loved with such intensity, someone who'd keep it there. 

it all being too much, he put his phone back onto the nightstand, attempting to push it all out of his mind. yet, he couldn't stop himself from going down a trail of thoughts which centred around luffy. 

luffy was perfect, in his eyes. he accepted law, loved him despite all his flaws. fuck, he even adored the flaws, claiming they were what made him human. luffy was always there, nothing deterred him, not even law’s shitty past. not even his moods which fluctuated like the ocean; sometimes the rage built up like a storm and all law felt was pure anger, waves crashing, other times it was the complete opposite, the waves were calm and tranquil. the emotions were sudden and unexpected, even he felt like he couldn't deal with them. law couldn't tame the ocean within, no one could tame an ocean, and it exhausted him, the complete lack of control over himself. but luffy put up with it all, _why_? 

law wasn't even worth it. he was the outcome of his childhood, jagged with sharp edges which made him difficult to handle. those who tried always ended up hurt. luffy's determination made his heart swell, it made him feel like he was worth something. 

_(“i love you, you know.” law just hummed, hoping they could move on and skip over the fact that he was unable to fathom that somebody loved him._

_“i'm serious. i love you more than anything. hey, you know that, right?” “i know, i just… it's hard to accept that someone like you could love someone like me.”_

_“you might a genius, but sometimes you're pretty dumb, torao. of course i do, why wouldn't i? what isn't there to love about you?”)_

deep in his core, he knew the truth. he didn't deserve to be loved, he didn't deserve luffy. after all, he only ever inflicted pain onto others and left them, never looking back. he'd tried to forget about it, tell himself that he wasn't like that anymore, tell himself that he'd grown from his past self. he'd argue that he _loved_ luffy, that he would never intentionally hurt his boyfriend. 

the truth was haunting. luffy's words felt so real, and it became harder to decipher which was the lie. however, once in a while, law would permit himself to believe luffy's words, let himself indulge in the warmth they offered. he would accept luffy as the truth, allow him to be his nepenthe. 

law’s teeth sank into the flesh of his bottom lip in order to muffle the sob that was attempting to escape. how fucking piteous. his view of the ceiling became clouded. he draped a tattooed arm over his eyes, wanting to stop the tears which spilled out and ran down his face.

why was he crying? 

so fucking pathetic. 

the pain in his head got sharper, until it became an excruciating agony. his arm was soaked, cheeks tear stained and his eyes stung. still, he laid, bathing in self pity and dejection. 

**[march, 21]**

**Author's Note:**

> the ending is weird. i had no idea how to end this so, sorry if it doesn't make sense lmao. 
> 
> it was supposed to be something along the lines of, law calls up luffy and talks about his issues and he gets the love & reassurance he needs. but then i was like.. i dont know how to write comfort??


End file.
